The saddest girl on Earth

Something is wrong, you know that things come back and you can't deal with it. Sometimes the past comes to us, without asking us for permission. You don't have the strength to fight, you are weak. You spend every day in bed, because only in this place you feel safe. You run away from people. You struggle with yourself. Give up. 

"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."

- Oscar Wilde

6 komentarzy:

  1. Noooooooo! NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

    Here's a little "exercise" for you: write a list with all the things which are worth living for (see my post if you need inspiration) and put it up on your wall!

    Turn all those negative thoughts into positive ones, just rewrite the whole post!
    Please, start EDUCATING yourself to think positive, only YOU can do it. Only YOU can make things better, if you want to.
    I am telling you this, because I used to be exactly like you, I used to be negative and I used to beat myself up with self-harmful thoughts. But it's WRONG! The first step towards happiness is being on your side, being your friend. Start telling yourself NICE things, just like you would with a friend.

    Also,Oscar Wilde was a great writer, but he had his dark moments too, like most people. You should never quote the words of a depressed person! It isn't a healthy thing to do and it will only make you feel worse. Where is the point?

    Please! I want to see your posts full of positiveness and those ugly sad quotes disappear! Find some motivational quotes instead!
    Let me see your "happy list",once you have it, if you wish.
    I'd be so happy if I can help you through this.
    I've been there too xxx

  2. Thank you for your comment, it's really nice that someone care. You're lovely person, thank you.
    The truth is that i'm in this shit for 4 years. I created this blog to fight with my depression, to add happy post with pics which make me happy. It was good, I wasn't happy, but i wasn't sad. I stopped starving myself, cutting and doing another ugly things. I was in the good way. But... everything came back. I don't know why. I felt like this when i was 16 years old and when i had my first suicide attempt. I'm this kind of person who can enjoy little things, animals, nature, people, the weather, music, art. World is beautiful, i know it. However, i can't enjoy it now. I want to disappear. Sorry, i'm grateful that you want to help me, but i don't think you can do that. I'll try to fight, but i've tried so many times and i've always failed.

  3. Don't feel guilty or beat yourself up because "it came back", it is most surely not your fault. Your issues probably never went away in the first place, but you were just coping with them somehow.
    The first thing you have to do is BELIEVE that there is a way out and that YOU will find it only if you change drastically the way you think.
    I am the living proof that our mind can do wonders.Trust me, I used to be a mess myself.
    I really want to help you to make this big change...this is why I am sharingin my blog the things I learnt. I will hopefully be able to post a bit more soon.

    For now tell me more about you, if you feel like it. What do you do? Do you live with your parents? Do they know how you feel?

  4. I'm 18. I'm in high school. I don't like talking about myself cause i'm not interesting person. I was happy kid, i used to have a lot of friends and two older brothers who were my ' role models'. Even though i was happy, i always suffered from syndrome 'not good enough'. But that's all. I really like my childhood memories. Everything changed when i was 14. Someone really hurts me. It's really complicated, i don't feel i can talk about. I've never talked about it to be honest. When i was 14 I also had my first real love and it was 2 year relationship. He was 17.I think it was beautiful relationship, but something in it was wrong, i don't know, it was kind of 'sick' relationship in a certain sense. My diseease got worse because of it. Sorry, i can't talk about my feelings, i have a lot of secrets, bad memories and i shouldn't write in this place my story.

    I live with my parents but i'm going to move out when i finish high school. They know that something is wrong with me, but it's complicated. My relationships with people are generally complicated. I push away people from me cause i think i don't deserve them.

    1. As I'm reading this,you seem to be more and more likable... because you are so me.. things like "not good enough" and "i dont deserve people" are very familiar to me.
      I too had a good childhood,but I've been suffering since my 3rd year, I've always hated myself.

    2. I love you.
      I hope you will be happy cause you deserve happiness.